Are you what you do?
One of the most recent rules I’ve instituted for myself is not asking “what do you do for a living”. I mean in a social setting…of course I’m going to ask if we are meeting to discuss your job. It’s in my nature to ask and probably one of the most difficult limitations I’ve placed on myself. That’s like a Dr. not asking, “how are you feeling”….of course he’s going to ask. That’s what he DOES. But is what you DO, who you are?
During my own little epiphany, I’ve discovered a few things:
- If you are what you do, you slowly start to see people as what they can do for you vs. any other type of value they bring to the relationship.
- The more you give at work, the less you give in places much more important than the sanctity of your office.
- If you are what you do, it makes it very difficult to find out who you really are. We’ve all begun to define ourselves as our job…as if it were a title. Name: Scott, Title: AntiPimp vs. Name: Scott, Title: Husband to a beautiful and loving wife, Friend, Father to 4 really awesome animals.
- You allow your work to become your entire social scene.
- Your work becomes your family. That’s not altogether a bad thing but if you have a family at home – go there and allow your co-workers to go to theirs. (I have a bad habit of discussing work after hours. It’s an effort in progress).
- You are only good at one thing – work. When you’ve retired, what’s left? How do you plan on contributing to society then?
- Your work becomes what people identify as your “culture”.
In addition to the above, I’ve learned how to change. It’s a slow process but it’s possible.
- Try to find your true self and incorporate that person into your daily activity. Eventually it’ll become natural and you won’t have to “try” so hard to be yourself.
- It’d be nice, but you don’t have to go on a 12 month sabbatical to figure out who you are. Step One is dedication to a list of your original ideals. (the ones BEFORE you became a worker bee) If you apply yourself, it can be done on the way to work, while brushing your teeth, taking out the trash, etc. You don’t have to don’t have to go to Tibet.
- This is heavy but – what if it all ended today. IT meaning YOU. What would you have done differently? What would you have had more of a passion for? Nothing is stopping you today other than yourself.
Challenge yourself to ask something other than “What do you do for a living”.
And no – I’m not a hippy freak. I love what I do, but figured out that I need to love other things and other people. Somewhere on the path to now, I’d gotten lost. It’s great to be back.
January 28th, 2009 at 8:06 am
Awesome – like Jerry Maguire’s Mission Statement. You complete me.
January 28th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
Thanks for reading bro….I appreciate it. Send it to you friends.
January 28th, 2009 at 8:21 pm
I appreciated this article, and try to think along these lines whenever possible.
The part about re-discovering yourself and incorporating it into your daily life resonates with me as well. For instance I studied art in college, but got away from it when career modes set in. So 6 days ago, I started a daily regimen of drawing something I find interesting, or that I noticed during my day.
I hope to make this a habit, and re-connect to part of my self that I long ago set aside.
January 28th, 2009 at 8:47 pm
Glad it hit that spot for you Nathan. Best of luck.
January 28th, 2009 at 10:52 pm
solid stuff. it should be mandatory that everyone reads this post.
January 29th, 2009 at 4:11 am
This is great stuff. I agree with what you are saying and more people should lend an ear to this.
Quoting Russell Hammond from the movie Almost Famous “You, Aaron, are what it’s all about. You’re real. Your room is real. Your friends are real. Real, man, real. You know? Real. You’re more important than all the silly machinery. Silly machinery. And you know it!
January 29th, 2009 at 7:01 am
This is my first visit to “The Anti Pimp”. Very cool stuff Scott. : )
January 31st, 2009 at 12:03 am
Exceptional life lessons, great piece for life peace!!
June 1st, 2009 at 4:16 pm
[...] Some people have this figured and and there are some that just don’t. I used to keep my status update on my Facebook page as “watching the lambs”. No one ever understood it and that’s fine and I really didn’t care (and still don’t). “Watching the lambs” meant to me that I was watching the lambs follow each other to their own slaughter. Not paying attention to anything or anyone around them. Only focusing on the task that was put in front of them at the moment and completely oblivious to the other things that were happening around them. I’ve personally battled with the feelings of sadness and anger watching these “lambs”. Sad, because they were missing the things around them..conversations, life lessons, personal events and more importantly friendships. Angry, because I knew I couldn’t do anything about it. Angry because they couldn’t see what they were missing. Hell..maybe they could see and still do see but just don’t care and are more interested in being what they “do” vs. actually being what they know they could be. [...]